With tons of unknown stress and pressure, I tried to attend Scientology sessions too, because I was trying to experiment even no one told it could change my life.
But inside the centre after a long conversation, the counselor suggested my ups and downs based on a 200 question questionnaire. Because of the time constraint, I filled the first and last columns properly and used a pattern for the others.
But the payment pressure, the environment and the way the sessions were conducted did not match my expectation of open dialogue and communication. It felt like another jail or pressure cooker where my existing stress and the new stress were boiling together.
On the first day, nobody stopped me from taking my mobile inside. After my planned time, I used it to send a message. The counselor politely told me it was not allowed. But I was already under pressure and that small negative feeling triggered my emotions. I suddenly became angry and stopped talking to people. It showed on my face and behavior.
Another counselor took me for a walk, which helped a little. But honestly, nobody really tried to understand why I had that emotional reaction.
On the second day, the same lady counselor was not smiling at me. Again, I felt that negative vibe and it triggered my stress. I waited and spoke with three or four people, but nobody seemed to understand what I was actually feeling.
I started wondering what kind of training the counselors had.
Later, I called her, apologised and explained that I felt bad when she did not smile at me, especially because she was a counselor. She also apologised and smiled. That moment made me question what they had explained about communication, affinity and reality.
If affinity is about understanding and connecting with another person, why was I not feeling it there? Or maybe I had misunderstood what they meant.
On the third day, I managed myself, stayed positive and attending in the course room. I spoke normally but also expressed my expectations and concerns openly before going upstairs. Just for curiosity when my friend asked where I was going, i took a video to show her, suddenly the councelor came asked me to delete, another negative, but yes to follow their discipline, just did.
I started noticing that the counselors seemed trained to handle only certain types of people and situations. They did not seem prepared for the complexity of human emotions. Even the people attending seemed very isolated. Most were not talking to each other.
I tried to speak with some of them in the official front desks, but they seemed scared to talk. It felt like they were moving away from the very ARC framework that Scientology talks about in its sessions.
Still, I tried to continue with the day's contents and waited for the 3 PM session.
Before that, I asked a person if he could take a photo. The person politely said it could be done after the 3 PM session. Then before 3, i found myself to sat with him. But he asked me to sit in the general area. It was a normal request, but again I got triggered.
I went outside angrily. It was cloudy.
When I saw the lady who was supposed to take the 3 PM session, she was on her phone. I asked her something and she responded with a gesture without really looking at me.
That was enough to trigger everything again.
I completely lost control, took my bag and left. The first counselor called me, but by then I had already reached my limit for the day.
On my way back to my room, I kept thinking about one thing.
Why can't they create a more generous, warm and positive atmosphere?
They teach that issues from the past can affect the present. And strangely, that is exactly what was happening to me every day at the centre.
My stress was already there. Every small interaction, every gesture and every lack of warmth seemed to trigger something inside me.
I went there hoping to reduce my pressure and understand myself better.
Instead, I felt like I was carrying more pressure every day.
Maybe the real question is not whether Scientology can change my life.
Maybe the question is whether this environment is actually helping me understand myself or simply triggering the very things they say they are trying to address. Are they scientifically making it or not, as no red flags they doing not been marked, no feedback loop...!!
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